My first healing ayahuasca night – a spiritual review

Our group consisted of six wonderful people. Like the other participants in the ceremony, I held my little ayahuasca glass with both hands in front of my heart. Each of us asked “Mother Ayahuasca” in his own personal way for help and guidance for our healing journey.

We drank together the sticky molasses-like mixture that came from the brew of two South American primeval forest plants and contains a high concentration of natural DMT. Contrary to my previous expectations, the black-brown liquid tasted quite good! I filled the glass with water twice more to take in the last of the rest.

I had prepared well for this trip

The previous week, we ate vegan, without any industrially processed foods. We refrained from sugar, all “simple” carbohydrates, the last few days also from spices. We lived on green smoothies and steamed organic vegetables with some quinoa, lentils or chickpeas.

Also energetically I was well prepared: With the Healer and Creator technique I had thoroughly cleaned my chakras.

Now I felt my heart beat. Of course I was very nervous and eager for what to expect. Previously, I had read a few books and many personal reviews about ayahuasca to be as well prepared as possible and to limit my fear of uncertainty.

Of course, I knew that no theoretical information could prepare me for what would start now.

The whole body in energetic vibration

We devoutly awaited first reactions, while Indian music with a mantra played in the background. After an estimated fifteen minutes I sensed the first change, a gentle and very pleasant tingling sensation. It felt as if the energy of La Medicina, as Ayahuasca is often called, spread throughout my body into my arms, hands and fingertips, and into my legs, feet and toes.

The feeling became more intense by the minute. The sensation of my physical body faded, almost as if my body became semipermeable. For that the consciousness for my energetic body increased strongly.

The tingling became a strong vibration. I heard and sensed a very fast electrical frequency that worked inside of me. A quick knocking and chirping and thumping. It felt as if every cell in my physical body was balanced against the much higher frequency of my energy body!

Confidently, I let happen, which wanted to happen and completely gave myself to this electrifying feeling.

Bright, psychedelic worlds from the deep inside

And then came the first pictures. With my eyes closed, I first saw a colorful whirr and swing in the rhythm of the music. The initially confusing forms gradually became strange-looking and glaring animal and plant creatures that had gathered in a circle like in an amphitheater and danced and sang with unbelievable joy and devotion to the music in our room.

I floated amidst these friendly-looking colorful creatures and danced with them. There were bright green frogs and other amphibious creatures, huge flowers of all colors and shapes, many long vines with eyes instead of leaves. Everything was alive! Everything was full of joy and love and an incredible and indescribable brightly colored beauty!

My journey went from one scene to the next and there were new circular meetings everywhere. The beings I saw became more and more bizarre. Many had only one eye, especially the many happy dancing plants and lianas. Like in a fractal computer animation, I sometimes zoomed closer and closer to a being and then almost into it until it moved me into a new scene with completely different organic and living forms.

All I could see here was inner parts of myself. I was overwhelmed with this creative aliveness in myself. Everywhere in me and around me there was only pure joy, love and lust for life.

The next morning…

Gorgeous shadow parts

Then I also began to discover less beautiful beings and even extremely ugly structures and shapes in the pictures. But even the ugliest of them danced in the same rhythm, twitching and full of joy and love, and I perceived an all-encompassing graceful beauty in each and every one of them.

So, if these are my shadow parts, then it is easy for me to accept and love them with all my heart, for each one of these beings showed me their very own (though often very bizarre) personal beauty.

The pictures became more intense, extreme and also darker. Not threatening, because I felt very well and safe. Once I saw a huge fat bumblebee or wasp that flew right in front of my eyes and turned around so I could see its ugly-beautiful and deadly sting.

There was a huge index finger in my scene, pointing to this sting. I knew that I did not have to be scared. This creature just wanted to show me the poignant beauty of her death spike. It flew away again and I floated into the next scenes.

I also saw skulls and bones that danced clattering with the other animals and plants. And they too were full of joy and I could accept them without fear and admire their peculiar beauty. Several times I saw the index finger and always followed in the direction pointing. I wanted to see everything that wanted to be shown to me here.

The salutary release

In the room of our ceremony, the first group participant vomited in his spit bag. Also inside of me something was bubbling up, because this is an important part of the healing journey with ayahuasca. The pressure inside me grew stronger and my inner images reflected my desire to let go.

Instead of amphitheatres, I now saw a deep, black pool in the middle and all the fanciful animals and plants danced around this small lake. The bright green frogs and colorful flowers began to spit, one creature after another was vomiting thunderously and stertorously into the dark water in their midst.

I saw slimy substances in all colors and shapes, they pulsed and dripped and flowed together into the dark lake in the middle. Instinctively I felt that it was time for me too and I knelt on my knees over my spit bag.

The pictures became ever more intense and the desire to let go was growing. “How much do you want to see until you can let go?” A voice in me asked. In my stomach a huge and vibrant cyclone brew up. Then it finally happened and I was able to pull up everything dark and ugly-beautiful inside of me, push it up and spit it out of my body.

What a salvation! Now peace and tranquility returned. I had done my inner work, looked again into my spit bag and saw even there an indescribable beauty. I thanked for the healing experience and for what I was allowed to let go here, knotted my bag together and found my way to the trash can in the room.

Visual music in three dimensions

Now I could lie down peacefully on my mat. I was pretty cold and covered myself with three blankets over each other, closed my eyes and delved into the beautiful sounding guitar music that Marc, our shamanic guide now played, accompanied by his lovely singing.

I saw the tonal colours and the waves of the sounds in three dimensions and was once again surrounded by the dancing and happy-funny bouncing animal and plant creatures, everything was beautiful, everything was good and everything was full of joy.

Next to me in the room, I heard a soft sobbing and crying from another group member. I did not know if they were tears of sadness or joy, but here, too, I felt an overwhelming inner beauty behind it.

The music of our shamanic tour guide thrilled me, and with my fingers, hands and feet I tapped barely noticeable to the rhythm. The feeling for every tiny movement was intensified a hundredfold in my mind. Every time I tapped, I felt a tremendous rush of energy that left my body and sent vibrations all over the room.

For a short time it seemed to me that I had huge elephant feet, because only these could make such an energetic boom!

I sat down on my mat and let my upper body gently circle to the music, while tears of joy and ecstasy flowed freely from my eyes. My new friends, the animals and plants inside of me, laughingly danced with me.

Our companions on the journey inside

Who else wants some DMT?

After a long time of pleasurable experience, the pictures became a little weaker. Marc paused for a moment with his music, went to each group member, inquired after the condition and asked if he or she was ready for a second glass of ayahuasca.

I agreed and received another 15 grams of the sticky substance, which I ingested after a brief inner prayer of reverential gratitude. Soon the pictures became more intense again and I was back in the middle of the colorful Spirit World.

Again, another group member vomited after only a few minutes and indirectly helped me to follow the powerful, energetic waves in my stomach and let go in a redemptive way what wanted to be released.

The healing feeling of liberation

I felt even more peaceful and liberated and was able to concentrate fully on the inner colorful worlds again. There was so much to discover, a huge multiverse inside me! So much creativity, billions of different forms, landscapes and beings.

I was so happy and grateful to experience and discover all this and wanted to see every scene as intense as possible. And again and again new friends and new beings appeared, who showed me their joy and love while we happily danced together.

This is what the astral worlds look like, I thought – and they are not far from our physical world, but right in and around us. In my physical life I have traveled on almost every continent, but these colorful worlds were completely new to me. And I decided here and now to return more often to discover these colorful worlds.

Only after several hours of intense experience, the colors became weaker, until I could only see something in the middle of my field of vision. I once again thanked my inner friends and said goodbye to them before they disappeared completely.

While writing these lines, I still have tears in my eyes… tears of joy! That night, I realized what I had lost in life. I was satisfied, I felt a lot of love and inner peace, but this deep inner joy I lacked. It had somehow gotten lost in the last few years.

And I realized that night how much joy lay dormant deep within me. It is here waiting for me, I just need to open up for it! A wonderful first step on the way to healing. I am deeply grateful to you, mother Ayahuasca!

If you are now interested in a healing journey with Ayahuasca, I highly recommend the monthly ceremonies with Marc on Tenerife. Here is his Facebook page.

In the next part of my travel report I write about my personal experiences from the second night with Ayahuasca, during which I also practiced the energy and healing technique Healer and Creator – with quite amazing results!

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